The F Word

I have no problem with the F word, but a lot of people seem to. When it comes up, people will say, "Oh, I'm not a feminist." When I hear this at first, it tends to shock me. "What?!," I say to myself. This intelligent, independent, hard working, funny, beautiful woman (as all my female friends tend to be) does not consider herself a feminist? What the hell is up with that? And suddenly, I hear her apologize for not being a feminist by saying, "I mean, I feel woman should have equal rights, be respected, and given the same opportunities as men. But I'm just not a feminist." Ah. I see.

What my well-meaning sisters are saying is quite simple. In an age where most people under forty have grown up with what seem to be equal rights between the genders, it is hard for them to identify with the angst, anger and oppression of some of the women of the past. We know that without the pioneering efforts of every one of our foremothers, women would not be in the position they are today. That being said, not having grown up in an overtly objectified manner, I think it is hard for many of my peers to call themselves Feminists because it holds a severely negative connotation. Images of burning bras and penis-hating women with hairy armpits come to mind. That’s no fun.

So, what or who is a feminist? In my mind, a feminist is simply a person who believes that women and men should have equal rights and opportunities in a broad social context. That simple. It is hard for me to think of a person I actually know who is not a feminist. When my female friends say they are not feminists, what they really mean is that they are not the stereotypical, bra-burning, man hating, ugly, hairy, radical kind of feminist that has been perpetuated by our culture and attached to the term.

The word feminist has become an icky word. Instead of having connotations of love, acceptance and peace, it brings to mind spite, hate and other distasteful notions that go against the very core of what it means to be a feminist.

So where does that leave us? I identify as a feminist and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. I encourage you to think about what it really means to be a feminist and act accordingly.